Yes, we got engaged, but I chose the ring
The proposal was perfect. The timing, the words, the champagne—it was everything. But the ring? That part was on me.
Because while some people love surprises, I’ve always preferred intention. I wanted a ring that felt like me, not something picked out based on Pinterest guesses or outdated traditions. And honestly? Choosing my engagement ring was one of the most empowering parts of the whole experience.
Picking your ring doesn’t kill the romance
Let’s get this out of the way first. Saying “I want to pick my own ring” isn’t unromantic. It’s not ungrateful. It’s honest.
We talk so much about communication in relationships, yet when it comes to engagement rings, there’s still this pressure to keep quiet and hope for the best. But for a piece of jewellery you’ll wear every day—something that symbolizes your relationship—shouldn’t your voice be part of the decision?
The rise of collaborative ring shopping
More couples are designing rings together than ever before. A Brides.com survey found that over 60% of partners now shop for engagement rings together. This isn’t just a trend—it’s a reflection of how relationships have evolved.
It’s not about being picky. It’s about being present.
Whether you’re drawn to minimalist designs, ethical diamonds, or alternative stones that speak to your personality, the process of co-creating your ring can become a beautiful part of the engagement story.
I didn’t want to be guessed at – I wanted to be seen
There’s a difference between being surprised and being understood. Choosing my ring was a way of saying: I want this symbol of our love to reflect who I really am, not just a guess at my style from 2012.
So we made it an experience. We visited Alexis Gallery, where I got to learn about diamond cuts, consider sustainable options, and create something deeply personal. It was collaborative. Thoughtful. Real.
Not once did it feel transactional. It felt like clarity.
What choosing the ring actually says
It says: I know who I am.
It says: This relationship is a dialogue, not a one-person performance.
It says: We’re stepping into this next chapter together, as equals.
And maybe most importantly, it says: love looks better when it’s lived honestly.
Not all traditions deserve to be preserved
Some traditions are beautiful. Others? A little outdated.
The idea that one person should secretly guess what the other wants, then spend thousands on it, feels more like a setup for disappointment than romance. Especially when a quick conversation could lead to something infinitely more meaningful.
Choosing your ring doesn’t mean you’re erasing surprise. It just means you’re building something more personal than performance.
Designing a ring that feels like you
Whether your style is edgy and bold or timeless and clean, your ring should reflect your story. Not the Instagram algorithm.
From nontraditional stones to mixed metals to thoughtful, bespoke settings, the options today are endless. And with jewellers like Alexis Gallery who prioritize personalization, it’s easier than ever to bring your vision to life.
This is your forever ring. It shouldn’t look like anyone else’s.
How to have the conversation without it getting awkward
If you’re not sure how to bring it up, try one of these:
- “I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of ring I’d want—can I show you a few ideas?”
- “If/when we get engaged, I’d love to choose the ring together.”
- “There’s a local jeweller I admire. Want to go look just for fun?”
It doesn’t have to be a heavy talk. It can be fun. Flirty, even.
What matters is making space for both people’s voices in the conversation.
Yes, it’s a ring. But it’s also a story
This isn’t just a piece of jewellery. It’s a reminder of your partnership, your values, your taste, and your future.
When you look at it, you should feel connected. Not just to your partner, but to yourself.
That’s why choosing it matters.
Ownership isn’t just financial, it’s emotional
Saying “I want to pick the ring” isn’t about money. It’s about ownership of your story.
Whether your partner proposed or you both decided together, that moment marks something huge. Make sure what follows—the ring, the wedding, the marriage—is built on clarity, not clichés.
So yes, we got engaged. But I chose the ring.
And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
