Nine of the biggest divorce myths busted
Considering your options for ending an unhappy marriage? It could be that you are being misled by common misconceptions.
With the new year upon us, Simon Bassett, the head of the family law team at RWK Goodman, debunks the most common divorce myths to help you move forward if you are considering a separation or divorce in the next 12 months.
1) January is the busiest time for divorce
Divorce day traditionally falls on the first working Monday of the year, however our experience suggests that it is a complete fallacy.
While there is a slight uptick in activity in January, we put this down to December being quieter because of the festive season. Analytics of our website prove that we have no more enquiries or searches around divorce in the first two weeks of January than at any other time of the year.
2) A common-law spouse has the same rights as a married person
There is also no such thing as a ‘common-law’ husband or wife – you are either married or you are not. And if you are unmarried, you have significantly less rights if the relationship sours.
3) Cohabitation agreements and prenuptial agreements are worthless
While cohabitation agreements and prenuptial agreements are not legally binding in England and Wales, if they are carefully considered and the correct criteria is followed, they can carry weight in court. What’s more, they provide a guideline on how things will work if the relationship does break down.
We find that these types of agreements can help reassure couples and can help things remain amicable if there is a split further down the line.
4) You can get a ‘quickie divorce’
‘Quickie divorce’ is a phrase often touted in the media but it takes a minimum of six to eight months from start to finish to divorce, and often can take considerably longer.
5) Divorce is always expensive
If you can maintain a relationship with your ex, there is no reason why a divorce should be expensive. They become expensive when couples refuse to negotiate and drag things out. Lengthy divorces which go to court will be considerably more expensive than amicable ones which use non-court methods such as mediation to agree financial and children matters.
6) A DIY divorce will save you money
While it is possible to file a divorce without any professional help, this could prove to be a costly mistake in the long run. For example, you may overlook important financial assets. You may have a claim to your ex’s pension, for instance.
If assets are not split fairly, you could be left in financial peril in later years. Trying to recoup anything which was overlooked post-divorce could prove very difficult and incur the legal fees you tried to avoid in the first place (if not more).
7) The mother always gets custody of the children
Family lawyers and the courts no longer use the word ‘custody’, preferring instead to refer to ‘children arrangements’. The focus is very much on ensuring that children maintain a relationship with both their parents if possible and spend time with each of them.
This means neither parent can take your children and move to another part of the country or abroad without their ex’s consent. If your ex doesn’t agree, the matter will be decided by the family court.
8) Unmarried fathers have no rights
Unmarried fathers have the same rights as the mother, if they have parental responsibility of the child. Unmarried fathers can acquire parental responsibility several ways, such as obtaining a court order.
9) It’s best to hold off divorce until the economy improves
There are pros and cons of waiting for better financial times to divorce, and it is worth taking advice to consider these. However, fundamentally, the key question facing all our clients is whether they want to remain in an unhappy marriage, and an uncertain financial future is one of many relevant considerations.
Simon Bassett is the head of the family at RWK Goodman and has over 30 years’ experience advising clients on divorce and other family law issues.
