Why diaspora parents should teach their children their native tongue (the challenges and the unexpected benefits)

Parenting

For many families in the diaspora, there’s an unspoken struggle at the dinner table: parents speak one language, children reply in another. Over time, the native tongue can fade into the background, being used less, understood only halfway, or lost altogether.

The fear is understandable. Parents don’t want their children to feel left out at school or to struggle socially. Yet letting go of a heritage language often comes at a much higher cost: a weakening of cultural identity, intergenerational disconnect, and missed opportunities for children’s growth.

Challenge 1: Limited exposure outside the home

In many countries, society’s default language is everywhere: schools, shops, playgrounds. That puts heritage languages at a disadvantage. Research shows that heritage language skills vary greatly depending on how much children hear and use the language at home and whether they visit or stay connected to their country of origin.

One study (on heritage children of Greek background) found that children’s vocabulary and grammar outcomes benefited significantly when parents regularly used the heritage language and when children visited the country of origin. 

Challenge 2: The pull of majority language dominance

When children learn two or more languages, the dominant one often takes over unless careful support is given. Family language policies (like choosing when and where to speak the heritage language) can help but must be balanced and consistent to avoid resistance from growing children.

Challenge 3: Identity tension and family disconnection

Parents sometimes worry that insisting on speaking the heritage language stresses the parent-child relationship. The “acculturation gap” is real – it describes how children, adapting quickly to their new environment, may pull away from their cultural roots when parents cling to them. 

Letting go of the heritage language entirely, however, has its own costs like the loss of intergenerational connection, weakening of identity, even feelings of cultural isolation.

The benefits outweigh the challenges

Here are some of the ways that the benefits outweigh the challenges.

1. Stronger identity and a sense of belonging

Children who speak their family’s language at home often feel deeper cultural pride. One recent study found that regular use of the heritage language promoted identity development and a stronger sense of belonging in immigrant youth.

2. Cognitive advantages from bilingualism

 Numerous studies show bilingual children outperform monolingual peers in attention, task-switching and creative problem-solving—skills that help them thrive in school and beyond.

3. Emotional resilience and cultural continuity

Maintaining a native language connects children to their family legacy. In Indigenous communities, language reclamation has been linked to better mental health, stronger self-esteem and preservation of cultural traditions. 

Practical tips: how to make it work (and even fun!)

Here are some practical tips to make it work:

  • Try “heritage language routines” – simple acts like storytelling before bed or naming foods in both languages.
  • Use media and music – cartoons, songs or stories in the heritage language are a playful way to help children feel comfortable with it.
  • Get creative, stay consistent – small efforts matter: dedicate specific times to the heritage language, be it weekends, mealtimes or playtime.
  • Lead with love – make it positive. Your own joyful connection matters most for the long haul.

If teaching your children your native language feels overwhelming, remember you’re giving your children a boost in their confidence and an opportunity to connect with others with a language that spans generations.

Author: Danielle Neah Amponsah (Serwaa) is a qualified educator with over three years’ experience teaching in UK colleges. She is the co-founder of Study Twi, an online platform making Ghanaian language learning accessible, engaging, and community-driven for the diaspora and beyond. Through her work, Serwaa combines her background in teaching and marketing with her passion for cultural connection, helping learners overcome fear, build confidence, and find joy in speaking a new language.